Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Am I making the plan, again?

What I have quickly come to realize is, I need a secretary. Multiple dating sites, setting up times, exchanging phone numbers...It's become my second job. Luckily my roommate has basically become my 'recruiter' and scours the internet to find potential matches (don't worry, I pay her in cookies). This really is a more than one person job and while she helps in those early stages, there is still the whole aspect of setting the date up. The actual going on dates is the easy part. I can be shiny. I can be funny (I laugh at myself at least). But it's wading through all of the steps beforehand that's exhausting and repetitive. One of the things that I have found in the early stages of dating is that there are two types of guys:

Ones that will plan the night and ones that will ask you to.

My pre-november self would have decided right then and there that if the guy wasn't putting much effort in he therefore doesn't care, so why should I? As is probably pretty evident with my last statement I typically only date the confident, take charge guys. Clearly my 'type' has not worked out in the past, so maybe it's time to branch out. Why should the guy have to do all the work? On a blind date isn't the playing field even?

Over the past few weeks I have started to get in this new mindset, maybe I need to work a little harder? I started to doubt everything that provided me security beforehand, have I been too hard on all my previous guys? Have I set some sort of unattainable standard? And then tonight brought me right back to reality. I was out running with a friend and I explained to her about my latest annoyances of passive guys and she said to me "What?! Why would you go on a date with them if you are already doing all the work?" That is what I needed. A sane confident girl to snap me right back. Why am I working so hard?

Will I still ask men out? Absolutely
Will I plan the date if they ask? Absolutely
Will I drive to the end of the earth to meet them? No
Will I put in all the effort? No

Maybe this is a crazy standard, maybe its prissy or controlling or whatever other people would view it as. But for me, this is who I am and I can't change that. I may have dropped a lot of walls down this November but I have to stay true to myself and not lose my values along the way. Sure I will meet lots of men in November but come December there's only one person who is going to be there at the end of all this, and that's me. So I better like her.

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